It's so exciting! Funny Fairy Tales is going on its first blog tour.
Today, we have one stop on a Writer's Journal:
Feel free to go in and start the conversation! You can also sign up for the $50 Amazon or B/N GC given to a randomly drawn winner on the blog tour!
Today we are featuring an excerpt and a review:
From the review:
Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs
My Impressions: Another retelling of the Grimm Tales…really? But what can I say, I’m a sucker for a well-turned ‘Tale (tee hee). But seriously a cute premise and some amusing teasers and taglines won me over.
The Plot Thins: So, this is a modern spoof of the original Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs. It’s a fable in the truest sense of the word…the short, simple story of the intelligent, not-quite beautiful but hard-working heroine Snow White…who is well-liked by everyone except her step-mother (the queen). The queen stupidly plots to kill Snow with a poisoned apple (see next section for more on this). The seven dwarfs are actually artisans each with their own special talent. This is a source of much humor during the multiple attempts on Snow’s life by her apple-wielding step mother.
Lore and Lunacy: The story pokes fun at some of the classic elements of the original tale. Snow White herself and her incandescent beauty…she’s just ok-looking in this version. The ridiculously vein step-mother and the poison apple she employs as a murder weapon. The Dwarfs don’t fall for the old poison apple trick…so she runs through a bushel or two before Snow finally eats one (tee hee). And lastly, the magic mirror. He’s not just a rhyming enabler anymore…but a snarly hater who tells the Queen (Step)mother where to get off…lol.
The Verdict: Over too quick, but I liked it. Short, cute, and funny. It made me laugh. Plus, this was a nice break from some of the darker full-lengths that I read.
My Impressions: Light-hearted…and charming as expected.
The Plot Thins: Like the first book, this is a modern spoof of a classic Grimm Tale. This time the author takes Cinderella and her step-sisters out for a night on the town. Cinderella is a dust-busting neat-freak who’s allergic to just about everything but air. Because of all the sneezing, wheezing, rashes, and Benadryl, she’s become a socially-repressed shut-in. (I guess they didn’t have internet there.) Her step-sisters are some-timey…nice, then naughty, then nice again. The step-mother turns out to be Mommie Dearest…no surprise there. And lastly, Alice (yes, that Alice) makes a cameo as the blonde-haired, blue-dress-wearing fairy Godmother.
Lore and Lunacy: There’s some hilarious drivel about a naked dream and an allergy-curing rabbit hole. It’s difficult to explain without sounding like a loon myself. Anyhoo, like its predecessor, this is a fable…which means, there is a moral lurking in the woods along with Alice. Moral: Never trust your step-mother. They’re always evil. (Clearly, the Grimms had some mommy issues.)
The Verdict: Reads like a plot outline. Still, its short, cute, and funny. Thus, I’m happy.
Red Riding Hood
My Impressions: Light and fun.
The Plot Thins: Red gets famous overnight due to her fashion-forward Hood-wearing. (who knew.) On the cover of Medieval vogue. Most date-able bachelorette. Then her background with evil Grandma comes out and all her popularity vanishes. She has to go on the lam.
Red goes into the woods to hide from the shame. Meets wolf and is afraid because of all the scary stories Grandma told her about wolves. She talks to the wolf, because the hood allows her to understand animals. While fleeing from the benign wolf, Red eats some hallucinogenic mushrooms. And to make a short story…even shorter…Everyone gets arrested. The evil grandma for trying to eat an endangered species, the wolf for trying to seduce a minor, and Red for consumption of mind-altering mushrooms. The three hatch a plan to let the wolf escape. And then they leave town. Grandma continues her life of evil in Salem, while Red goes to Harvard. Its all very odd. Yet amusing.
Minor Beefs: What? No romance? *cries softly*
Random Grey Matter: Why not re-write all the most popular fairy tales…Rumpelstiltskin, Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel…etc, and release it as a kicking Modern Fairy Tale Spoof-ology?
The Verdict: Quick read, low-maintenance fun.
Excerpt from Cinderella:
A long time ago
in a faraway land
there lived a woman
who was allergic to dust.
She was also allergic to cat hair, pollen, mould, nuts, soy, and latex.
She lived in the attic, which she kept sterile- clean.
She would rarely get out, because the house had a cat and she was allergic to cat hair.
She would keep the windows shut to avoid the pollen.
She tested her food to avoid nuts and soy.
She chased the microbes, and the dirt and the germs and the insects, and walked around with a small broom, ready to use.
In short, she was nuts.
Her name was Cinderella.
Excerpt from Red Riding Hood
When Red finally reached her grandmother’s cottage, it was noon and she had eaten a collection of mushrooms she had never seen before.
She was also seeing colors she had never seen before.
The cottage was quiet, and the door creaked when Red unlocked it.
There was no answer.
Red walked in slowly. She was dizzy, but she managed to walk straight into her grandmother’s bedroom, and approach the bed.
Her grandmother seemed somewhat different.
For starters, she had very big eyes.
Red never noticed that before.
Her grandmother also had fur.
Red stopped, confused.
There was something funny going on.
She couldn’t quite put her finger on it.
She thought she might as well say something.
“What big eyes you have.”
Really? thought the wolf, who was lying in her grandmother’s bed. “Well… the better to see you with.”
“What big ears you have.”
“Well… the better to hear you with.”
“What a big nose you have.”
“The better to smell you with.”
“I can tell where this is going, and I’m not interested. No offense.”
Let the tale begin!